Mercedes-AMG E53 Coupé review: Do you really need that V8?

Rocketship in a fancy dress

By Martin Pretorius

 

Less than a decade ago, Mercedes-Benz decided to split their passenger car range into three branches. At the one end are the cars with “-Benz” at the end of their nameplates: the accountants and lawyers of the family, with all the good manners and sensibility they need to appeal to mainstream buyers. Going upmarket, they append “-Maybach” to the brand name, and these represent the family’s patriarch – the successful uncle who can’t resist bragging about his success.

And then there’s the Mercedes-AMG badge, which only gets affixed to the free-spirited ones in the family. Let’s call AMG’s products the somewhat inebriated cousins who arrive late to the parties, always get up to mischief, and usually laugh too loudly at their own jokes. This branch of the Mercedes family has now grown to include slightly more demure variations on the AMG theme. We had opportunity to spend time with one of these “second-tier” AMGs, in the form of the E53 Coupé, and came away rather enamoured. Could this be the optimal AMG?

 

Styling

The E-Class Coupé may just be the best-looking Mercedes product out there at the moment. This a sweeping statement indeed, but just one look will be enough to convince you that it could indeed be a worthy recipient of this title. Up front, it’s pretty much as you’d expect from a mid-sized Mercedes, with a gaping grille (adorned with AMG’s wing-like detailing) and squinting headlights. The bumper gives a hint of the beast lurking under the skin, however, with plenty of scoops and vents to give a menacing visage. 

Moving down its flanks, the E-Class Coupé has the elongated side window line you’d expect on a two-door car of this size, combined with subtle surface detailing, sweeping styling lines, and discreet bulges over the wheel arches. It’s not really wedge-shaped, but rather forms a smooth, homogeneous whole which recalls the early 20^th century’s Art Deco style in its execution. It’s perhaps the most attractive iteration of the current Mercedes-Benz design language, and is sure to age gracefully.

Our test car rolled on 20-inch multi-spoke alloy wheels with a diamond-cut finish, which showed off the AMG-branded front brake calipers to great effect. An AMG body kit is standard, of course, but discreet gloss-black trim pieces add a dollop of subtlety to offset any brashness.

At the rear, the current Mercedes coupés and cabriolets receive elongated, horizontal light clusters, which complement the semi-fastback roofline and discreetly upturned rear edge of the boot line. AMG-specific touches includes a very subtle lip spoiler, fake air vents, and four equally fake “exhaust outlet tips” – they’re really just there for show, because the actual exhaust pipes are bent downwards to face the tarmac, and terminate a few centimetres before they reach those elaborate quad-outlet tips.

 

The Drive

Even though many of its styling add-ons are non-functional and frivolous, the driving experience is a lot more authentic. Most noticeable is the all-new, twin-turbo inline-6 engine with mild hybrid assistance, and not only for its power, either. It’s all in the way it sounds, with some genuine character permeating the cabin when the engine is running. 

There’s a low-key thrum in light-load conditions, rising through the mid-range with a fruity timbre, before culminating in a howl as it approaches the 6500 r/min redline. If the personality of an AMG product is decided by the character of its engine, this one is the smooth-talking gangster in the bunch: all nice and civil when relaxed, but punchy and surprisingly vocal when provoked. 

Handling-wise, it pays to remember that the E53 is quite a large car, measuring more than 4.8 metres in length and more than two metres in width. As a result, tight parking areas require concentration, helped in this test car by an excellent surround-view camera arrangement, proximity sensors all over, and an excellent self-parking system. But, once up to speed, the car shrinks around the driver, changing direction with an eagerness and composure that belies its size. Handling is basically neutral, up to the sky-high grip limits (which few drivers are ever likely to explore).

Unfortunately, the AMG suspension setup and those low-profile tyres (optional 20-inch items on our test car) do exact a toll on ride comfort, where sharp road disturbances still find their way into the cabin. The upside is a secure and planted driving experience, which combines with the standard “4Matic+” all-wheel drive system to add an extra layer of security. Unlike the E300 cabriolet I sampled last year, this sometimes-abrupt low-speed ride quality (especially in the sportier settings) is entirely justified in this car, however, because it has the power to cash the cheques written by its styling and sporty suspension. 

At least the standard air suspension is adjustable and adaptive, which means that only Sport and Sport+ driving modes ever verge on being uncomfortable. In all the other drive modes, the suspension manages to smooth out most road imperfections quite satisfactory, but still with a level of control which matches the E53’s performance potential.

 

Performance

For those enthusiasts who wonder whether sticking an AMG badge on a car without the highest possible performance somehow cheapens the brand, I have some great news. Sure, the E53 isn’t at the absolute pinnacle of AMG’s efforts with the E-Class (those carry an E63 badge and use a comically potent V8), but it still has the performance on hand to deserve its name. 

The figures only tell part of the story: the petrol-fuelled part of its drivetrain produces 320 kW, to which a 48-volt mild electrical motor adds an extra 16 kW, for total system outputs of 336 kW and 520 Nm. That electric assistance really makes its presence felt during those moments when a sudden power request from the accelerator pedal results in the petrol mill shuffling its gears and gets those turbos spinning. The electric motor’s ability to fill in any torque gaps results in potent acceleration under all conditions, and combines with the petrol engine’s wide power spread to create a very responsive powerplant. 

The 9-speed gearbox is equally impressive. In gentle driving, it shuffles unobtrusively through its many ratios, but turning up the wick results in prompt downshifts and more-emphatic gear selections. Select Sport or Sport+ modes, and it gets even more enthusiastic, banging off the kind of "kick-in-the-kidneys" gearchanges usually reserved for dual-clutch transmissions. 

Just how quick is it? Well, Mercedes-AMG claims a 0 – 100 km/h sprint in 4.5 seconds and an electronically governed top speed of 250 km/h, and the perceived on-road performance seems to confirm their claims. These figures are aided by the all-wheel drive system, which distributes the power according to the available grip levels at the individual wheels. 

As a result, the E53 manages to use every single horse under its bonnet, without wasting any effort on wheelspin. Stand on the accelerator, and the E53 rockets off the line, before charging ahead with loads of thrust until the (digital) speedometer is well past “Go Directly To Jail” territory. 

Not only is the E53 quick by any measure, but it also sounds lovely. In addition to the straight-6 symphony, the exhaust pops and bangs just like an A45’s would, and sounds like it’s tearing apart the fabric of space and time under full throttle. It’s quite incongruous, really: a stately, stylish car which emits authentic boy-racer noises, and which can see off those same boy-racers in a straight line!

 

Space and Comfort

Nobody buys a coupé to get limo-like cabin accommodation, but for a car of this type, the E-Class Coupé has above-average space for its four occupants. You probably won’t be able to fit a quartet of burly rugby players inside with any measure of comfort, but for normal-sized people, the available room is quite satisfactory both front and rear.

Some minor issues do arise, however. For instance, the rear side glass rolls all the way down into the flanks, leaving a pillarless hardtop design, but there are no window controls for the rear occupants. The high shoulder line also gives the impression of very shallow side glass, and may make rear-seat passengers feel slightly claustrophobic. 

The only other problem with the E-Class Coupé are those long, heavy doors. Not only are they a chore to open, but the position detents simply aren’t strong enough to keep the doors open when faced with even a slight incline. This makes entry and egress more stressful than it should be, because care has to be taken to keep the door open, or to keep it from banging against the adjacent car.

Comfort- and convenience features abound, however. Our test car was equipped with leather-trimmed and heated front pews, navigation, multi-zone climate control, and a leather-trimmed multi-functional steering wheel with touchpad controls. The latter operated with much greater fluency than the similar arrangement I encountered in last year’s E300, so there may have been a software update along the way. Up front, the dashboard displays were all digital, and the touch surfaces were all trimmed in stitched leather-like material.

Notable options in our test car included the surround-view camera system, electric front seat adjustment with memory functions, a panoramic sunroof, head-up display, excellent adaptive multi-beam LED headlights, a self-parking system, blind-spot monitoring, electric adjustment for the steering column, soft-close doors, and adaptive cruise control. A strange omission was automatic lane-keeping assistance (self-steering), especially seeing as the car did feature lane departure warning. As is the German way, the really nice toys are mostly optional.

 

Safety

Mercedes-Benz doesn’t mess around when it comes to vehicle safety, and this test car was no exception. Standard safety kit includes 7 airbags, traction- and stability control, along with automatic emergency braking, speed limit assistant, and rear ISOFIX child seat anchors. Of course, it also has a 5-star Euro-NCAP crash safety rating, but the Mercedes Pre-Safe system will do its best to ensure you never need to use that crash safety at all.

 

Fuel Consumption

Mercedes-AMG claims an average fuel consumption figure of 8.8 litres/100 km, but this proved completely impossible to achieve with the test car. This isn’t through any fault of the car itself, mind you, but rather because it’s very difficult to avoid burying the loud pedal in the carpet for some sweet, sweet, straight-6 noise. Oh, and the power was addictive as well. 

The resulting average consumption after a week of mixed-use driving was 11.4 litres/100 km, but conservative drivers will likely manage a lot better than I did. But then again: for people who can afford to buy or lease a car like this, the fuel consumption likely doesn’t matter very much. Furthermore, if consumption is a priority, those buyers will be much better served by one of the very competent E-Class diesels. 

This is an AMG product. It’s meant to go fast, and it does so with great enthusiasm. To do that, it needs plenty of horses under the bonnet – and horses need to be fed. For what it’s worth, this E53 Coupé was the most frugal AMG-badged car I’ve ever tested, so that probably counts as progress...

 

Price

With a list price of R 1 322 200 before options, the Mercedes-AMG E53 Coupé isn’t cheap, and when loaded with options in the way of this test car, its price rocketed to R 1 621 054 excluding VAT (R 1 864 212 including VAT). This moves it into a pretty stratified realm. However, the E53 still a bit of a bargain in comparison to the meanest E-Class of them all, which costs more than half-a-million more.

That extra outlay for an E63 S 4Matic+ can to a large degree be justified by the presence of an added 100 kW or so, as well as the rumble of a V8 engine, but in the face of the excellence of the “cheaper” E53, it makes one wonder if the price premium is really worth it.

 

The Verdict

There can be no argument that the Mercedes-AMG E53 Coupé is a hugely desirable car. It looks like two million bucks, has a really charismatic engine, a brilliant transmission and all-wheel drive, plenty of power, secure handling, and enough AMG character to keep almost anyone satisfied. In fact, if it weren’t for the access difficulty presented by those big doors, it may just be the closest to the perfect car I’ve encountered in ages. And, considering the sheer speed always on tap, and the genuine usability of all that performance, it makes one wonder if there’s really any need for a V8 at all.

 

Expert rating:

4.5/5

 

Pricing is accurate at the time of writing, but may change without prior notice.