Toyota Yaris GRMN – memoirs of a petrolhead

By Chad Lückhoff

Toyota presents us with a limited edition hot hatch that recalls the days when Toyota and Performance were comfortably mentioned in the same sentence.

 

Expert rating out of 5

4.5/5 for driving fun

3 pros

The power

The handling

The excitement factor

3 cons

Only 400 made

Only 3 in South Africa

Impractical for rear passengers

Where did we go wrong? There used to be a time when man was intent on pushing the boundaries and risking it all in the name of exploration, development and unadulterated thrills. Sex was safe and motorsport was dangerous, but now you have a million-and-one nanny aids to make sure that little Timmy doesn't get hurt when he rides his bicycle in the dedicated, foam-barrier play park, while wearing his elbow, knee, shin, wrist, shoulder, and coccyx pads and struggling to keep his head upright because of the carbon-kevlar reinforced helmet and neck brace. I'm sure he's having a whale of a time.

We no longer go to the moon, the Space Shuttle has been retired and the Concorde weeps an oily stain on the museum floor, the ineffable aircraft that carried humans across vast oceans at supersonic speeds now reduced to a bereft display of a time gone by.

Cars have suffered the same fate. The illogical combination of big horsepower and rudimentary suspension and chassis components made way for electronic driving systems and fleet-orientated offerings that did nothing to stir the soul. Yes, we may have seen a return to this malarkey with the likes of the Hyper Car race, and for that, I thank the engineers at VAG for the Bugatti Veyron and Mr Koenigsegg himself for the CCX. The brands that were known for having a little something special in their lineup, however, seem content with producing cars for Uber drivers. While this is an acceptable business model, producing cars that sell to the masses, the enthusiasts turn around and walked into other dealerships, crying on the inside, as winners do.

Toyota was, a few decades ago, able to entice you with the likes of the Starlet, the Celica, the Supra, and the MR2. But this all faded into obscurity around the turn of the millennium. Gone were the sporty offerings and octane-hungry, corner-bashing sports cars and we were left with the likes of the Corolla, the Run-X, and the Yaris to satiate our thirst for excitement.

Enter Gazoo Racing.

Think of Gazoo Racing as being the TRD reboot, Toyota's motorsport division that happens to know a thing or two about competing in the most grueling motorsport formulas, with a fair amount of success too. Spurred on by the enthusiastic Akio Toyoda, a man who understands motoring passion, Toyota has let the knowledge gained from competitive motorsport trickle down into a handful of road-going offerings. We've been treated to the GT86, the Supra has been reborn, and now there's a properly nutty hatch in the mix too (and I mean squirrel poo nutty).

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the Yaris GRMN.

Styling

It's a tough one to miss, this Yaris GRMN, with its Gazoo Racing-Inspired livery that sees red and black dashes adorning the bodywork while the hunkered down chassis rolls on a set of respectably sized, black 17-inch BBS alloy wheels. It's rather subtle in the way of body modifications with only a rear wing and lower diffuser added to create a sense of occasion. The GRMN turns a few heads, but the only window that gets wound down comes from well-read motoring enthusiasts – but that's not a bad thing. At the end of the day, it's still a Yaris, and the GRMN was not created to lure fluff into your car – we'll leave that for the German hatches.

The Drive

The Yaris GRMN was created for drivers, for enthusiasts, and here, the Yaris GRMN does not disappoint.

In order to understand how engaging this car is to drive, one needs to explain where the name comes from. No, it's not a misspelling of a popular SatNav system, but rather an anagram. The GR bit is a no-brainer and it stands for Gazoo Racing. The MN part represents Masters of Nurburgring – the hallowed testing ground, notoriously labelled The Green Hell. Thus, it goes without saying that the little Yaris is capable of taking a corner or two at a fair lick.

Thanks to suspension tweaks and additional beefing up of the components, the Yaris has a composure that is hard to beat. Large 4-pot brake calipers and slotted rotors bring the speed in check as you enter the corner, the rear end getting light, but behaving rather predictably. Throw the little Yaris into the turn and the sticky Bridgestone Potenza tyres and the limited slip differential work in unison to ensure a surprising apex speed. It will do all this before you climb onto the power, earlier than normal, and feel the steering twitch in your hands as the drivetrain directs the power to the ground. The GRMN is immensely 'chuckable'.

Performance

“High-performance tyres, 4-pot brakes and a limited slip diff in a Yaris?” I hear you ask. Well, yes. And not without reason.

Under the hood rests a 1.8-litre 2ZR-FE 16-valve engine that produces a whopping 156kW and 250Nm, all thanks to the Magnusson Eaton supercharger that has been strapped to its back. Yes, 156kW doesn't sound like much, but when you only have to move a touch more than 1000kg, 156kW is rather a lot.

Let's get a little geeky here: 156kW equates to 209hp. With me so far? Good. The current Golf GTI produces 169kW, or 226hp. The Yaris weighs 1135Kg while the GTI weighs 1298Kg. That gives the Yaris a power to weight ratio of 184hp/tonne and the GTI a ratio of 174hp/tonne. Volkswagen, care to explain?

As a result, Toyota claims that the Yaris GRMN will sprint to 100km/h from a standstill in 6-seconds dead and top out at 230km/h. Thanks to the inherent nature of superchargers, boost is always available, even from idle and the power delivery is wonderfully linear, in any gear – and there's 6, manually selected ones to choose from. This engine’s nature also means that, to get the most from it, you have to wring its neck all the way to the 7000rpm redline. Do this and you will be rewarded. The Yaris GRMN loves this sort of attention.

The best part? None of this experience is hindered by electronics. There's no fancy electronic torque biasing to prematurely cook your brakes, no adaptive suspension to buck you off mid-corner, just simple, binary motoring. Sure, you get ABS and Traction Control, but instant regret is a just a push of a button away.

And that's all you really need to know about the Yaris GRMN...

Space and Comfort

Nope, it's a Yaris. It's still 95% Yaris on the inside and space is not one of its selling points. A set of GT86-style bucket seats have been fitted and you will get a GT86 steering wheel, aluminium pedals, some red stitching, and GRMN branding scattered around the cabin. Aside from that, there's the standard fare of air-conditioning, a very agreeable infotainment system and electric windows up front.

There's nothing much in the back though, apart from a seat and some seatbelts. You don't even get doors. That's right, the GRMN is a 3-door Yaris hatch – an extra special body shape that will prevent posers from slapping some vinyl decals on and getting away with their rendition of a GRMN. You can't fake 2-doors.

Safety

Aside from the ABS (with EBD) and the aforementioned traction control, you get the regular complement of airbags and occupant restraints. Not too much has changed in this department and one gets the suspicion that, despite the increase in power, Gazoo Racing elected not to weigh the car down with seemingly unnecessary safety equipment. Little Timmy is smiling again.

Fuel Consumption

Remember the Space Shuttle I mentioned earlier? Yeah, it's like that. But who cares when you're having so much fun?!

Price

Here's the bit that you're not going to like.

Toyota is only making 400 Yaris GRMN and an additional 200 that will wear the JDM-only Vitz badge. Of those 400 units, only three have been allocated to South Africa, and they're all spoken for. As such, we can't say how much the Yaris GRMN would cost but the rumour mill has been hearing figures between R500 000 and R600 000.

I'm sorry Volkswagen, I take that back.

The Verdict

I love the Yaris GRMN. It reminds me of an aftermarket conversion that has been thoroughly thought out and executed with near perfection. It's as exciting a drive as the likes of the Abarth 595 Competizione and the Golf GTI Clubsport, but nowhere near as bonkers as the Abarth and nowhere near as coddled as the Clubsport. It strikes a beautiful balance of power, performance, poise and character. I thoroughly loved every minute of the GRMN and it makes my heart happy to know that Toyota hasn't forgotten about drivers like me. I just wish I could share it with more enthusiasts.