The Mercedes-AMG S63 4Matic Cabriolet – The Existential Crisis Drop-Top.

Where do you draw the line on enough? When is something too much? It's easy enough to tell when you've had too much to drink or too much to eat, but when it comes to a car, can there be such a thing as too much?

I believe there can be. Whittle it down and you still sit with the basics; an engine, four wheels and a place to sit so that you can transport yourself from place to place. But as a car enthusiast, I know that there's so much more to motoring than that.

Depending on my mood, I look for different things in different cars. If I want to go off-road, I know what to look for. If I want to cruise across the country, I have an idea of what sort of drive I would choose. The same goes for commuting and tearing around a racetrack – and that's where the Mercedes-AMG S63 4Matic Cabriolet confuses the hell out of me... what is it supposed to be? And why is there so much of everything!?

We will start with the size, and yes, there's a lot of it. The term “land-yacht” was used more than once while describing the sheer proportions of this car. Coming in at just over five-meters long, it's equal in length to the S63 Coupe and only a smidgen shorter than the S63 sedan. It's a touch narrower too, but only just. Then there's the weight. I hear your argument that a cabriolet will inherently weigh more thanks to the additional stiffening and strengthening required to stop it falling apart, but the Cabriolet tips the scales a full 115kg more than the Coupe and 140kg over the larger sedan. That's a lot of excess. Some of it can be put down to the drivetrain which, oddly enough for a vehicle of this nature, is 4Matic All-Wheel Drive (AWD).

This creates more confusion. I like to believe I'm a person capable of logical thought but yet I remain somewhat torn by the results of the aforementioned 4Matic system. Given that the S63 4Matic Cabriolet uses the same M157 5.5-litre Bi-Turbo V8 as the coupe and sedan which produces 430kW at 5500rpm and 900Nm from 2250rpm to 3750rpm but weighs more than the hard-top derivatives, one would think that it is slower. But it's not. The 4Matic ensures that the Cabriolet is at least 0.3-seconds quicker from a standstill to 100 km/h than the Coupe and a full half-second faster than the sedan! In something that weighs nearly 2.2 tons! Why do you need to do this?

In short, the performance is astounding for a vehicle of this size. The get-up-and-go is not lightning fast but that's because of the 7-speed AMG Speedshift MCT 7G-Tronic gearbox that will first find a gear that is appropriate and then slingshot you into Thursday next week. Sure you can switch things over into manual mode and flip to the desired gear with the steering-mounted paddles and negate the delay from the gearbox, but that requires thinking, and trust me when I say that the S63 Cabriolet is not the sort of car that makes you think. In fact, it promotes the inverse.

The S63 4Matic Cabriolet is the sort of car that you climb into, start and drive, leaving a bellowing rumble and lesser mortals in your wake. It's not a thinking car, it does most of the thinking for you. From the adaptive Air-Balance air suspension that will iron out the undulations in the road, to Distronic radar cruise control and Lane Departure Assist that will keep you neatly between the lines, there's actually very little that you have to do. You just need to enjoy the drive and soak up the luxury, Of which, there is, frankly, too much.

Trimmed in rich, porcelain leather, you sit on air-conditioned, heated and massaging seats with active bolster support. The dashboard is trimmed in opulent chocolate brown and porcelain leather with a silver metalised Ash wood trim, a not so subtle glow radiating from the ambient lighting that illuminates the cabin and reflects off of the light-coloured trimmings. Feel free to change the colour of it, it's one of the multitude of options you can tailor from the Command system to create the atmosphere you desire. The R101 000 optional Burmeister High-End audio system will caress your ears with concert-hall clarity and let the air fragrances tickle your nose.

Then change it all up again when you drop the folding soft top. A quieter operation you will not find when it comes to a convertible. Ninjas are envious of this level of stealthiness. Within a few seconds, the roof is down and stowed in the trunk. Now the sun, moon and stars are your roof lining and the already spacious interior (up front at least) feels even bigger.

I like convertibles, I really do and I believe that South Africa is a great country for convertibles – at least in terms of weather, but all that happens when you drop the roof of the S63 with this spec interior, is that you end up looking like an ostentatious show-off. It toes the line between luxury and lunacy, because you're still able to do 0 – 100km/h in 3.9-seconds. I get the wind in your hair thing, but to instantly blow wave your hair on launch is a little ridiculous.

On the topic of showing off, the AMG Night Package headlights are fitted with Swarovski crystals. Which is just a completely new level of unnecessary in my books. In fact, much of the S63 Cabriolet is unnecessary, including the price. Base prices sit at R2.9 million and in a similar spec to the one I drove, tickles the R3.3 million mark.

It's a great car to drive, I didn't expect anything less when I climbed inside. Trying to fault it would be nitpicking but despite my time with it, roof up or roof down, I just can't imagine the target market, the type of person who would sit down and say, “That's my next car.” Clearly I need to change my social circles.