A Coupé to get dressed up for

Flash that cash

When you have money to burn and a flashy personality that needs you to be the centre of attention at all times, there are a few potential cars that might suit you well. The excessive BMW X6 is one of them, and it has been selling quite well. Therefore, the guys over at Mercedes-Benz felt that they better rise to the occasion with their own “Sports Activity Coupé” and thus the Mercedes Benz AMG GLE Coupé was born. It is, in essence, the same shape and size as the X6. Much like a sports bra with diamond studs, a Sports SUV is not the most sensible thing, and the fact that this 2275kg brute of a car thinks it can be thrown into corners and behave like a hot hatch, almost sounds absurd. But I was going to try.

Thirsty business

The flagship AMG GLE 63 S 4MATIC Coupé had been booked for me, and I couldn’t wait to step inside it. As it was being delivered, the driver pointed to the trip computer, which showed fuel consumption at 16 litres per 100km from Cape Town to Hermanus. It was a little shocking, but bear in mind the 5.5 litre V8 engine with 430kW on tap. Driving around in town would prove even higher.

Looks to kill

I stood back to admire the GLE Coupe’s gentle curves and sloping roofline. The rear end is so much more elegant than than the X6’s, and the shape of the taillights is prettier too. It is more understated, if you can call it that. The Bimmer almost seems a little vulgar compared to the Merc, like Charlize Theron compared to Christina Aguilera. Both are famous, but the one is decidedly more stylish than the other. The GLE Coupe’s front end won’t break any mirrors either, but I dislike the black plastic mesh used on the grille. It is highly transparent and allows me to see too much of the GLE Coupe’s innards. I do like the red hand-painted brake calipers on the optional 22-inch AMG alloy wheels (R 6000), though. Non-slip side steps add SUV appeal. A gigantic Mercedes-Benz badge in the centre of the grille shouts the brand name from the rooftops.

Interior delights

Inside, the AMG Espresso Brown leather interior option imparts a feeling of an elderly billionaire’s private library. Chrome embellishments and the black piano lacquer trim (R 4000) add glamour and glitz. Then there’s a large (non-touch) screen in the centre dash, home to Merc’s COMAND online infotainment system, which we used to watch a DVD as we were waiting in the car for Dad to find his wallet. I also used the voice activation to call friends via Bluetooth, and to set the standard satnav. I prefer a touch screen, as fiddling with the controller knob and writing letters on the touchpad with my left hand, uses way too many attention units. In the GLE Coupé there are plenty of ways to skin a cat, it seems, as multiple platforms can be used to access the same menu. A R45 000 Bang & Olufsen sound system had also been fitted to our test car, for otherworldly sound quality.

No hands

My favourite part of the entire car must be the AMG Performance steering wheel in black Nappa leather. Thick and chunky, it is firm but pliable, and has suede around the part where your fingers wrap around the wheel itself, in case of sweaty paws. It also gets firmer, the faster you drive. And if you need to lift your hands from the wheel momentarily, the GLE Coupé will follow the road’s curves for up to 20 seconds, thanks to the Driver Assistance Plus Package (R29 000). This is made up of Pre-Safe Plus, Distronic Plus with Cross-Traffic Alert, Steering Assist and Stop & Go, Pre-Safe Brake, BAS Plus, Brake Assist Plus with Cross Taffic Assist and Active Lane Keeping Assist. By far the most valuable creature comfort for me, is the Parking Package with 360 degree camera (R12 000). It gives you a bird’s eye view of your car on-screen, to avoid damage to those voluptuous curves.

The Driving Bit

The GLE Coupé is truly an exhilarating drive. If you floor the accelerator from standstill you will hit a 100 in only 4.2 seconds. Gear changes aren’t quite as smooth as in the X6, yet as the shifts take place quite perceptibly, I quite enjoy the engine’s rowdy snarl. Engage the Sport setting and an even more underworldly roar can be heard from the V8 engine. Throw the GLE Coupé around a bend and its assistance systems will prevent any form of bodyroll – air suspension, adaptive damping and active anti-roll bars will keep those 22-inch tyres securely on the tarmac. As you enter a corner there is a tiny bit of understeer, but it’s such a small amount. All wheel drive means you can exit that corner with a little bit more verve. There is so much power that just touching the accelerator with your toe lurches the Coupé forward, so easy does it. And if you think you’re melting a glacier with every blip of the throttle, you probably are. Our round-town driving resulted in fuel economy (or extravagance, rather) of 19.9 litres per 100 km. I just had to keep putting petrol in! I enjoyed driving it thoroughly, but boy, was I glad to give it back. Every onlooker wants to strike up a conversation, have a look at the interior, open its boot and so forth. Way too much attention for my liking.

Mom’s verdict

From a parent’s perspective, the GLE Coupé is a lot more practical than I thought. The boot is huge, and the electrically powered tailgate can be opened and closed by the flick of a switch in the cabin. The rear bench has space for three adults, of the long-legged variety, and there are two power sockets as well as individually adjustable air-conditioning controls in the back. For the rear entertainment system with screens against the seatbacks, you’ll have to cough up R 32 000. (The panoramic sliding sunroof costs R 18 000.) This is a car that manages to get everything right, and at R 1 89 000 it should. However, the flagship model is way too thirsty and in this day and age one needs to have a conscience about eco-unfriendliness. It is frightfully expensive to keep filling this car up, so I would go for the less nutty GLE 450 4MATIC Sport Coupé, at R 1 099 900 – even if the fuel saving isn’t considerable, it costs R760 000 less than the GLE 63 S.

Facts & Figures

Base Price	: R 1 859 900
Engine	: 5.5 litre, V8 bi-turbocharged petrol
Gearbox	: 7 Speed Speedshift Automatic
Power	: 430 kW
Torque	: 760 Nm
Top speed	: Limited to 280 km/h
0 to 100 km/h	: 4.2 seconds
Fuel tank	: 93 litres
Realistic fuel consumption	: +/- 13 to 20 litres per 100 km (combined)
Boot size	: 650 litres
Also consider	: BMW X6M
Warranty	: 2 years / unlimited km
Service/Maintenance Plan	: 6 years / 100 000 km