Best Luxury Cars

By Martin Pretorius

When you strip away the flashy trimmings and high-tech gadgets, luxury cars are really no better at being cars than the cheapest econoboxes manage. When it comes to the mundane job of simply ferrying people and their chattel from point to point, even the simplest budget car is just as effective as the flashiest luxury car.

But that’s not what luxury cars are all about. In fact, their function as transportation takes a plushly upholstered back seat to the fact that they’re also supposed to tell all onlookers that the occupant of this car has made it big in life. These aren’t cars for the bosses of ordinary working-class folks. Rather, they’re the cocoons which transport our bosses’ bosses to the fanciest clubs and restaurants, or to the private terminal at OR Tambo International Airport, or wherever it is that rich people go to amuse themselves.

So it follows that, far from just being plush carriages for the rich and famous, luxury cars have to project a certain image, something other than their mere size, to set them apart from the workaday runabouts us plebs drive. They’re meant to be big and brash, and they shout “look at me!” through a powerful loudhailer. With all this in mind, we’ve taken a look at some of the best luxury cars out there.

Mercedes-Maybach S-Class

If the normal S-Class limousine isn’t flashy and ostentatious enough to satisfy the plutocrats, there’s a top-line trim level to set the REALLY expensive S-Class apart from the “ordinary” ones. It’s called the Mercedes-Maybach, and it comes with literally every available bell and whistle as standard equipment. And then it adds totally pointless but eye-catching details such as Swarovski crystals in the headlight trims, and the requisite shiny wheels.

In fact, no matter how far-out the buyer’s tastes might be, it’s a virtual certainty that the Maybach division will be able to meet those needs. Forget about any AMG-fuelled fantasies, though: those crazy power merchants won’t be allowed anywhere near a Maybach – this is all about luxury, not speed.

Bentley Bentayga

Why put the gargantuan Bentayga SUV on this list, and not a Mulsanne or a Continental of some sorts? There are two reasons. Firstly, luxury car buyers usually like to stay on top of fashion trends, which means having The Latest Thing at all times. That’s exactly what the Bentayga is: the first Bentley SUV, and the newest model in the range. It’s a must-have this year, dahling! Secondly, luxury cars are meant to be seen and to be seen in, and there are few vehicles out there as visible as the monstrous Bentayga. I’m convinced that, if you park it outside at the right angle, you could create your very own solar eclipse.

And so what if the majority of people think that it’s as ugly as the truth? Do we really think that the super-rich give a single thought as to whether we like it? Here’s a newsflash that’s almost as bright as the Bentayga’s grille: our opinions matter as much to luxury car buyers as the fact that it’s quite cramped in the Gautrain at rush hour. They might be aware of it, but it doesn’t affect them in any way...

Ferrari 812 Superfast

Not all luxury cars have to be huge and ugly, though. For evidence, I invite you to pore over the Ferrari Superfast’s seductive curves and intricate detailing – it may just be the best-looking Ferrari GT car in decades. It’s still a proper Ferrari, though, so its performance is absolutely stonking, thanks to a 6.5-litre version of Ferrari’s current V12 engine. 588 kW and 718 Nm should be sufficient to get you from A to Z very, very quickly, and seemingly without passing through any of those pesky intermediate letters.

In this case, the name might be self-explanatory, but “Superfast” is a name that’s actually steeped in history, having been used for a series of grand tourers from the 1960s, all of which used the biggest V12 then at Ferrari’s disposal, and usually clothed in bespoke bodywork. Yes, it sounds a little contrived in today’s world, but once again remember: the people who can buy them won’t care what we think.

Porsche 911 Turbo S

Of course, there might be times when our luxury car owner would want to remain somewhat incognito. In this case, they’d choose a luxury car which would disguise them as merely “very” rich, instead of “super” rich, and for that job, the Porsche 911 Turbo S should just be the ticket. Well, the “normal” 911 Turbo would probably do just as well, but there’s always the small matter of exclusivity...

This is why today’s 911 Turbo is a far cry from the rather rough and raucous old models, and rather veer in the direction of GT cars. Very, very, very fast GT cars, to be sure, but GT cars nonetheless. Inside the cabin, you’ll find all the latest modern conveniences, while outside, it stands out by virtue of a pretty obvious aerodynamic kit. It’s even surprisingly comfortable and spacious, because there’s no reason for tycoons to suffer for their speed, is there?

Aston Martin Rapide

Any Aston Martin would do for this list, really – they’re all very pretty, very expensive, and very exclusive as a result. This is kind of the point, really: they offer virtues you could find in many other cars, but because they’re so pretty and exclusive, they immediately set their owners apart as members of the upper class.

The Rapide is a good choice, though, because it has enough doors and seats to cart along some friends on a trip to the theatre. Or to the Durban July’s VIP entrance. Because here’s the thing: Any Aston Martin will get their driver instant access to the most sought-after events. It’s a way to arrive which signals that the owner has, in fact, already arrived.
Ahhh.... The lifestyles of the rich and famous. Now it’s just a matter of winning the lottery, right?